Understanding over time

I am currently reading through the Arcana Celestia for the third time. Right now I am in the story of Jacob and Esau which is about the glorification of the natural.

When I was younger, I understood all of this because I understood the words I read. Now, I don’t understand it. It is difficult to clearly distinguish what thoughts and affections are from the rational and which are from the natural. It is impossible, at least for me, to tell what is coming into the natural directly and what is flowing in indirectly. Without being able to relate what is being taught to what is going on in my own mind, I do not feel that I truly understand what is being taught. 

It is comforting, however, that the Lord so frequently points out our inability to comprehend these things which make sense to the angels.

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